“Love, then Submission”

 

""22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her  28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:22-33""

A friend of mine sent me an interview of a couple that had been successfully married for 30 years. He said he was really inspired by the interview as it was immensely revealing. After inquisitively reading the interview, I called my fried to convey my point of view and we both agreed that there is a reason God (who is the creator of marriage), instructed wives to submit to their husbands and instructed husbands to love their wives as he loves the church. I am aware of how people have unapologetically tweaked and twitched this particular bible verse to suit all kinds of things I cannot begin to write today, but that is far from the point I am striving to make.

My point is, for so many reasons some of which I will state here, it is better for men to love their wives. I am not trying to say that a wife isn’t supposed to love her husband, no, but if she is submitting to you completely don’t worry. Why? Imagine that you are blind and the world is all dark to you and all you have on earth is your 13-year-old son who with the help of your cane directs and guides you everywhere. He leads you wherever you wish or have to go because you are blind. You may not necessarily enjoy that you are at the mercy of your son but what can you do? This is the way I see submission. For your wife to have submitted to you completely, she has built a sturdy kind of trust for you. For someone to trust you so much, there is a huge chance that she already loves you deeply. So you see? By the way, Ladies do not marry a man that you cannot trust for direction in life assuming you were blind.

It may take a woman longer to fall in love with you, but when she eventually does, her love endures long. Men on the other hand fall in and out of love faster.  If a man doesn’t love you, nothing you do will change that, and if a man decides to love a woman, even if there are a 100 Victoria secret models in the room his eyes will penetrate all of them like a ghost and focus only on the woman he loves. All her imperfections will become perfect in his eyes. Marriage comes with a lot of unavoidable challenges but we will all agree that a woman makes and builds the home; she takes a house and turns it into a home. It’s just like building a Lego, you only work with what you have, and if some pieces of the Lego are missing, you will not be able to come up with a complete structure even if you tried.

That is it, if she has peace and happiness she will invest it into the home she is building and what more will make a woman happier than knowing that the only man she loves, loves her even more? Except she is a witch, there will be less nagging, less misunderstandings, etc. because your love for her is enough. Most men are busy trying to understand a woman; I say forget that and LOVE HER. Love the hell out of her and watch her transform into her fullest potential. Personally I can spot a woman who is loved right merely by looking at her physically. There is this glow I just can’t explain, but she glows. Men on the other hand want to know that they are appreciated, they want peace, they want to know that you are in their corner come what may, and they will go above and beyond to make that woman happy. 

Some say it’s better for the woman to love the man more, but other than massaging his ego what else will the marriage benefit from that? Especially in a society like the one I come from where woman are drained emotionally until they have nothing left. What will her loving her husband more bring? The man is the head of the home, the main protector, provider, the one who found you and asked for your hand in marriage. The one who is the reason you left your family to build a new home with. So isn’t it natural that since he found you and loved you, swept you off your feet and made you start loving him eventually, should just continue to love you even more despite the fact that you eventually fall in love with him?

God is a wise God and he has never lied. He created marriage, he knows the dynamics of marriage better than any human, and just like a textbook he gave us the bible, which has all the necessary instructions on how to be successful in marriage. The choice is ours as to whether to follow it or not.

Letter to my Future Husband

Hello Love,

 Some time ago, after several meaningless, draining and bad relationships, I decided to give my heart to the lord and he promised to keep it safe and only give it to a man he finds worthy of it. If it is you it means the one who knew my end before I even began has found you worthy of my heart and me you. I'd like to believe that you are doing great because I pray for you everyday. I still cant help but wonder though, what do you do? What church do you attend? Do you wonder about me sometimes like I do? I hope you pray for me, us and our unborn kids.

Just wanted to tell you a few things. I am not perfect, far from it but you will be one of the most perfect things in my life. I am working on somethings about me in other to be a great wife to you.

I am actually not in a hurry to meet you so don't be. I used to be in a hurry but I know better now as that hurry made me accept things that looked and felt like you. little did I know that GOD wanted me to be completely solid in myself and my faith. To grow in wisdom and strength. I know that at the right time our paths will cross and it will be well worth it.

Love, I don't know anything about you but I know that you love God and that is what maters to me. I really don't care much about how you look or what you have because I know you were handpicked specifically for me by the one who knows and loves me the most. Talking about who loves me, my mom cannot wait to meet you........ lol. She prays for you every single day and permit me to say that you have the best, I mean "BEST' mother in-law anyone would ever hope for. I have no doubt that she will love you and treat you like her son. I also have a best friend who has now become my sister; her name is Reva but I call her Linipie. When in doubt baby, ask two of them. I have faith in their love. I also have twin brothers who love me just as much as I love them and
I know you all will eventually be best buddies. I cant wait............... :)

Love, right now I'm on a bridge with my career. I am considering whether to go to law school or start a PhD. Whilst I'm waiting to decide, I will just keep getting experience. I don't watch TV but I am warming up to movies. I don't wear heels a lot; I just don't know how to.

I hope you don't talk a lot baby, its okay if you do but I can talk for two of us (winks). I also hope you are not obsessed with taking selfies lol. Do you like food? The kitchen is not my favorite place in the world partly because it gets so hot in there but I promise you would love what comes out after I go in a kitchen. I will write you again and tell you 20 things about me.


In the mean time, I need you to know that I will love you like you have never been loved. I have so much love to give and I am saving it all up for you. I will love you in ways that will please God. I will bear and raise us wonderful and blessed kids. I know you are worth waiting for. Take your time, I am waiting for you.

How He Decides You Are The One By Jenn Clark

Have you ever wondered what causes a man to fall in love and want to spend his life with a particular woman? We’re often conditioned to believe that if we’re pretty enough, agreeable enough, and do enough nice things for a man, we’ll win his heart. That usually doesn’t work so well, however. Just ask any girl who’s gone out of her way to please a guy only to have him tell her something like, “I don’t know why, but I’m not feeling it” or “It’s not you, it’s me.”

Whether or not a man falls in love with you has little to do with how much you do for him. In fact, it’s usually the ladies who don’t work overtime to gain a guy’s approval who have greater success in their relationships. Why is this? Because deep down, men want to make women happy. They want to be the ones to “give” and for you to “receive.” When you make it your mission to put his happiness before your own (and therefore act as the “giver”), he’s not able to give to you. Essentially, you are taking his job away from him.

So how do we do it? How do we conduct ourselves from the beginning of a relationship (yes, the very beginning) so that a man is more likely to see us as a keeper?

The overall idea is to set yourself apart as a “high-quality woman.” You want to differentiate yourself from the rest of the girls out there who allow men to (as I like to say) throw them scraps and call them dinner. You need to have unwavering confidence, a backbone, and a joy for life. You need to know who you are and like that person. Those are the qualities that will attract more potential long-term relationships than a set of D-cups, perfectly-toned abs, and a sexy Facebook profile picture ever will. Instead of focusing on the exterior (as we women often do), let’s take a look at some of the things thatreallymake men fall in love.

He falls in love with the woman who doesn’t lose herself in the relationship. It may seem odd that one of the main traits that causes a man to want a long-term commitment with a woman is her independence. The truth is men like women who have their own lives. Clingy, needy girls scare them. Why? They see that kind of behavior as pressure and we all know how little men like to be pressured into something – especially a relationship. Most men find it easier to commit if they aren’t pushed, coerced, or guilted into it. By not acting like you will die without him, he begins to wonder if he’ll survive without you.

He falls in love with the woman who is more than a sexual conquest. I know of so many women who have attempted to use sex to get a man to fall for her. They think, “If he sleeps with me one more time, I’ll amaze him to the point he has to be with me permanently.” Bad move, sisters! I don’t care how flexible you are, how many moves you know, or how freaky you like it — no man will fall in love based simply on good sex. In fact, men are much more likely to feel intensely about a woman if she waits to have sex with him for a while. The one night stands, the sex on the first date chicks, the girls they have a drunken romp with? They don’t seem to last too long, do they?

He falls in love with the woman who allows him to miss her. Yes, “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is an overused cliche. But most cliches become cliches because they are true. Did you know that men fall in love not only because of how they feel when they’re around you, but by how they feel when you’re apart? Men equate missing a woman with love. They interpret “I really want to be with her when I’m not” to mean “I think I’m falling in love with her.” Dumb girls want to be with a guy 24/7 no matter how much time he wants to spend with her. Smart women know that spending time apart is what causes him to want to be with her 24/7.

He falls in love with the woman he had to work to get. When we become too smitten with a man too quickly, his interest in us almost always lessens. Men like to feel they have won us over and that they’ve had to expend some effort in attaining us. Being a “hard to get” woman isn’t about playing games. It’s about protecting yourself and making sure a man is up to your standards before giving him your heart. This is exactly what makes him feel like he has earned an incredible prize when you give it to him.

He falls in love with the woman he has fun with. Men don’t want to marry their mothers. (And if they do, that’s a big problem.) This is why engaging in domestic activities like cooking and cleaning won’t cause him to fall in love with you. Men don’t want to marry a woman who is a complainer, a nagger, or a nitpicker. Nor are they interested in spending a lifetime with a woman who turns everything into an argument. A man wants to marry a woman who is his best friend, his lover, and his champion. He wants a woman who makes him feel good — a woman who makes him feel like a man. No relationship will be perfect and every couple struggles with conflict. If time with you brings him a lot more pleasure than pain, he’s much more likely to see you as the girl of his dreams.

A man won’t decide you’re “the one” based on your attempts to convince him or talk him into it. Instead, he convinces himself because he comes to view you as a woman who is too special to let go. As a result, he will strive to always treat you with respect and to care for your feelings. Realize your worth and refuse to settle for less than you deserve. When we believe in ourselves, others are much more likely to do the same.